Shellac- At Action Park (1994)

Shellac is post-harcore/ math rock from Chicago, formed in 1992 that conciders themselves “minimalist rock trio”, which I would call them minimalist post-harcore, I’m not really seeing the math rock part because of the drums.
Whatever genre label one wishes to attach this is a band that has been around for twenty years and doubtlessly will still be listened to twenty years from now. This is a band that has a talent and quality that is well ahead of the time, but just as obviously a product of its time with a balance between minimalistic riffs and slowed-down hardcore.
(This is another recent discovery for myself via the wonders of the Wiki and YouTube)

download

Tortoise- It’s All Around You (2004)

   Tortoise is a post rock band from Chicago playing instrumental music with many different elements, influences and styles, as is apparent in this video; jazz, electronica, Wiki explains how this band gained attention early on because they were one of the first to step away from the strictly rock and roll influences and start incorporating other sounds into “Indie” music.  And they have two drummers playing facing each other, which allows for more complex songs.
   Besides for all that they are almost an “Indie” supergroup and were noticed from the start because of this, evidently, because this is a band that I have heard about for quite some time but never listened to, so this is new to me also.
   I put the Ska and Rocksteady Thursdays on hold, in part, to expand my horizons beyond the same music I have been listening to for years, and this is a perfect example of that idea paying off; Tortoise has an awesome and unique, almost jam-bam sound and I see why I have heard so much about them.

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Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; Solving Unemployment and None Shall Escape The Wrath split (2000)

Today’s relationship advice is about solving unemployment.
I was reading about Spain’s 25% unemployment rate among Generation Loser (25-34 year olds) and the woes suffered by the economy worst hit by the recession, of the industrialized countries.
There are “Time Banks” springing up all over Spain where people donate their time and get someone else’s time in return. Everyone’s time is equal, the lawyer’s hour has the same value as the dog-walker’s, which is a great deal for the lawyer.
Instead of having these fruity Time Banks to help the unemployed it strikes me that the easier way to lower the unemployment rate is to make it illegal for women to work.
Not all women would be required to return to the kitchen, just those who can’t provide a logical reason why they shouldn’t be at the house cleaning something. And FYI ladies, calling me an asshole isn’t a logical reason.
It’s not that I am saying that all women are inferior to men and have no place in the workforce, just most of them. There are also plenty of men who are pretty worthless and something needs to be done about them also if the unemployment problem is to be solved.
Besides for my Return to the Kitchen Initiative all men who “stand up” and oppose this logical and reasonable initiative on the grounds of “Women’s Rights” should be publicly branded a woman and forced to sit down to urinate and to clean things for a living.
For real, if you’re going to say such feminine shit then you need to stay away from the urinals so that the men can use them.
Besides for that it strikes me that most of the “men” who “stand up” for women’s rights work inside because they don’t like to sweat, like a woman.
Seriously, I’ve heard all kinds of things on construction sites; sheep-fucking jokes, “barrel” jokes and joking references to every part of women except their “rights”.
Since we build things, construction workers are experts on all things, everything from women’s role in in society to raising children (1/2″ PVC pipe) to house-breaking dogs (1/2″ PVC pipe).
If women were ment to work outside of the house the stove wouldn’t come with a clock. Seriously. Men wear watches on their wrist and don’t need a 200 pound weight attached to it to keep us from losing it. If stoves were made to be used by men they wouldn’t come with clocks. It is all perfectly obvious, I really don’t know why I am the only one who has pointed this out.

This week’s Black Metal selection is the None Shall Escape The Wrath split from 2000; A four way split with bands from all over, it is unusual in its length and quality.
Judas Iscariot is one of the 1990’s best solo-USBM projects, an incredible sound played with single-minded ferocity, however the entire album is very good also, with no band really out-shining the rest.
For the collector of Black Metal albums this is a must have, originally released on vinyl, limited to 500 copies. Everyone else probably doesn’t care.

download split

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Ufomammut -Oro – Opus Primum (2012)


I saw that this was out the other day over at TheLivingDoorway and he seems more hyped on it than I am.
They are an Italian band that has been around forever, playing their own twisted version of psychedelic space rock, which some songs sound pretty good. Like this first YouTube video, but then there are others like the second video, which is ok, but really sounds like they had a couple too many duster hits while playing that song.
Which is cool and all, don’t get me wrong, I’m not above a duster hit or two, I mean life is about expanding ones horizons, right? But whole songs that are obviously influenced by inhalatants don’t sound good to anyone else. The Grateful Dead already proved this.
Even with a couple of questionable tracks it is still a decent release and one of the few notable albums that have come out this summer.
HERE is another half-assed review and a link to download.

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Om- Advaitic (2012)

Om is the some sort of Hindu sound or symbol, but the band is basically the band Sleep minus one member. The songs are formed along the lines of Tibetan chant, played as two-piece, stoner-doom. It sounds odd, but they pull it off well, making great session albums that have a trance quality that begs to be left on repeat in the background.

download Advatic

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Hoover- The Lurid Traversal of Route 44 (1994)

Post hardcore from Washington DC. I just heard of this band today but I am liking them, and post hardcore is quite descriptive; the rough edges and harshness that are the mainstay qualities of East Coast Hardcore have been smoother and polished into a more palatable form.

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Panoramic Winter Park, Florida.
Facing Rollins College, the oldest college in Florida.

HiM- Egg (1996)

HiM is “a dub influenced post rock” band that started as the project of the drummer from June of 44. Weird and interesting all around, also for the fact that I can’t seem to find a download (which is rare these days).

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Sugar Bear, the confused cocker spaniel

Mount Fuji Doomjazz Corporation- Succubus

Introducing The Mount Fuji Doomjazz Corperation, the alter-ego of the Kilimanjaro Dark Jazz Ensemble.
Ska and Rocksteady Thursdays will be put on hold for a few weeks so as not to over-play the genre. Keeping the focus.on new and innovate jazz I’m posting the Mount Fuji DoomJazz Corporation album Succubus.
Yet again, it is supposed to be made for existing silent movies, but I consider it more mood/background music than anything.
A newer band that I’m hope will continue to put out this interesting form of jazz.

download

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Reltationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; The Snowboarder’s Dirty Thumb, the book “How to Be a Woman” by Some Dame and Bone Awl

Yet again it is Relationship Advice Wednesday, and this week in an effort to broaden my literary horizons I have included a book review this week in addition to the relationship tirade.
There was an intriguing letter in this week’s Savage Love which I feel compelled to answer, I’ll paraphrase;

I’m a twenty-something professional snowboarder, its hard for me to talk about, but when I touch myself I use both hands, ie, “the Invisible Towel” meathod (I jerk it while sticking my thumb up my ass). When I am not alone and with a girl, no matter how hard I try I have to stick my thumb up my poop-shoot in order to shoot my load. I’m not gay, I just like my thumb up my own ass.
Last night a Snow-Slut caught me poking myself as I was poking her and now I am scared she is going to tell all the other pro snowboarders that I like to make “The Beast with Two Backs…and a Tumb.
What do I do?
-Washing His Right Hand A Lot

First off, what makes you think that all the other pro snowboarders don’t do The Invisible Towel also? Seriously, you people make a living out of being cold and hanging out in the cold… Just a shot in the dark here, but it sounds like all of you like standing around with your thumbs up your asses, so don’t sweat it until one of your snow bros brings up “Sword Fighting”.
As for the Snow-Sluts talking, yes, all women talk, but it is not as bad as you are thinking; Professional snowboarders aren’t known as intellectuals and she is likely just telling her friends that you are a moron, not a freak. I’m guessing something like this- “That dumb motherfucker tried to get kinky with me, got confused and ended up with his thumb up his own ass!”
Honestly, be thankful this is the worst problem in your life at the moment. A butt-plug and a bottle of hand sanatinizer is the obvious solution and since you had to be told this, I would advise you to save as much of your earnings as you possibly can, don’t ask why, just trust me on that point.
Have fun, and don’t let anyone ever say that you need to wear a helmet… Not trying to be mean, but I will point out that your mom likely caught on to your innovate style of jerking off long ago, which I’m sure worried her enough, but your snowboarding “career” is likey more embarrassing for your parents.
I mean seriously, you can’t crack one off without a drain-plug, no big deal, and it is funny. Real funny. So what? Fuck what other people think, wash your hands and have a good time.

https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=Kv3-0hit1A4C

How to Be a Woman; She complains about her bra. That’s how to be a woman. Complain.

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