Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday and Halcyon Dawn compilation (2011)

At first I was at a loss as to what to write for this week’s Relationship Advice post until standing in line waiting for coffee; personal space. At some point portions of our society feel that they have evolved to the point where it is perfectly acceptable to stand 12 inches away from someone in line or to speak to strangers who are using a public bathroom. The ones who are the worst about this are office workers. It is like the effects of being cramped into a four by four foot space has eroded their sense of space to the extent that even pack animals such as hound dogs feel uncomfortable by their total disregard for personal boundaries.
While construction is the barbarian’s profession overall, there are certain aspects that are highly civilized, such as no conversations shall breech the scared walls of the Port-O-Potty. While this is only enforced by OSHA, everyone else just uses common sense and acknowledges that few people are in the mood for conversation with their fellow man while they are exercising their bowls.
Of all the times I have crapped in an orange grove while at work, not once has anyone tried to talk to me. In fact, co-workers always politely stand at the edge of the grove to throw rocks and oranges. However, as soon as I set foot inside an office building people start talking to me in the fucking bathroom!
Besides for that, Cubicle People will stand uncomfortably close whenever the chance presents itself, almost as if it is some twisted office worker game like Limbo turned ninety degree with bad breath.
For those who need to be told, personal space is measured in feet, not inches. For example, if a person has an unexpectedly wet fart there should be enough clearance so that no one gets “misted”. If someone does get misted, it’s their own fault, personal space.

Today we have a compilation from Halcyon Recordings which is a random Bandcamp find of Blackened-shoegaze which is listenable, however I am finding that Apogeic Swell’s Awash is my favorite of the compilation. Nice, long songs, however nothing incredible or breathtaking or ground breaking, almost standardized DSBM/USBM. While the US has bred some incredible black metal bands, we also have a habit of breeding cover bands that are about as innovative musicians as a radio. While this comp is not that bad, the third track defiantly carries the album; 73%

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Because of Ghosts- The Tomorrow We Were Promised Yesterday (2006)

Australian math rock/ post-rock trio of brothers playing mellower music than other post-rock bands such as Pelican and Russian Circles, less down-tuned, layered with an interesting combination of instruments exploring new sounds. Most American math rock and post-rock has hardcore influences that are easily heard, almost to the point where one expects to hear such sounds, Because of Ghosts lacks this and the songs are built around complex combinations of instruments such as wine glasses and the glockenspiel. It is an interesting approach to the genre that plays well.
A warm and overcast day here in Orlando, ripped off GDP, this is perfect Monday afternoon music, not depressive, not anxious, just good to leave on repeat, a score of 90%, highly recommended.

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Isis- Oceanic (2002)

Isis is a band I have been meaning to post for a while, seeing them referenced frequently as influencing bands such as Russian Circles and Pelican, and they interestingly ended the band before it repetitive, claiming that they accomplished all that they wanted to accomplish. Bravo, it is rare that anyone has enough sense to leave on the top of their game, most choosing an exit more akin to Whitney Houston’s inglorious gurgle.
However, come to find out, I’m not a big fan of Isis. The vocals. The vocals don’t fit the music, the pitch and tone just don’t seem right, it kinda ruins it for me. This album is also citied by Wiki as contributing to the development of post-metal, which we all could have done without.
Jangly, with stupid post-metal vocals and oddly placed slow parts composed as deep metallic interludes come across as lame, implying someone spent too much time listening to Power Metal in mom’s basement. A score of 74%, and part of that rests on my faith in other people loving this and not so much it appealing to me. This album starts exploring some great sounds but wanders off into some totally different riff or plunges into weird vocals that wouldn’t have fit the song thirty seconds before. Too much compressed into one album.

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Reducing Gun Violence By Revoking Women’s Suffrage and Abyssal (2013)

Today’s Relationship Advice focuses on women’s thought processes and logic
We have a quote from a Fox News story from earlier this week-
“Inside the Capitol, about 75 members of One Million Moms for Gun Control and other groups thanked Cuomo and lawmakers for leadership in setting gun limits they expect to help reduce violence.” [Full Article here]
This quote explains a lot about women’s thought processes, what they mean is “We don’t like guns and don’t think anyone should have them because we don’t like them.”
Either that or they are idiots. I “expect” a light to come on when I flip the switch because it has happened literally thousands of times before… Now, these women are “expecting” gun control to limit violence, although there is no precedence to logically draw this conclusion, no evidence, no historical legacy, nothing. In fact, during Roman times there was not one semi automatic gun available and yet millions of people died violent deaths. Hundreds of thousands were hacked to death with machetes in Rwanda during the 1990’s, so these women’s expectations seem to be based on the belief that the world will be a better place if everyone would just listen to them and not logic.
I will point out that long ago everyone got together and wrote down the agreed upon answers to many of these core questions of modern civilization;
1. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and to voice it.
2. Everyone can have a gun.
I notice that no one felt the need to write down praise for women’s intuition and the necessity to involve their opinions in the governance of the country. Also, note that not everyone could vote; obviously there were plenty of Dinks then as there are now and it was implied that their opinions didn’t matter either.
Back to the Moms Against Everyone Else Having Guns and their unrealistic, illogical and unfounded expectations, let me point out that 150 years ago women didn’t have the right to vote and there was a notable lack of school and theater mass-shootings. Besides for that, Saudi Arabia in modern times does not have women’s suffrage and there also is a notable lack of school and theater mass-shootings. Revoking women’s right to vote appears the more logical solution to curbing “violence” than does legislation limiting magazine capacity.
Just as those women are entitled to their opinion it appears that everyone is also entitled to high capacity magazines, however, I do have to question the logic behind these magazines. The obvious reasoning (to me anyway) is rarely used; baked target shooting. After a good session no one wants to stop every tenth shot to reload. No one ever points that one out though, one always hears these wild-eyed urban combat scenarios, that I don’t really hear about happening too much in real life.
Honestly, how many shots do you need to get your point across? Thinking about it, what asshole is going to keep coming at someone after they just gunned down seven or eight of their companions? Even if it’s just two or three, who is going to keep coming? Seriously, what do these guys foresee themselves doing where they kill seven men, and yet they still keep coming?! That eighth person would have to be one pissed-off motherfucker. What in the world are these guys planning on saying to get people that riled up? In my opinion if someone has been that much of an asshole then they can take time out of their day to reload, however, my opinion doesn’t need to be forced upon everyone else as law.
It appears that many people in America believe that they themselves are bad shots and loud-mouths and that one day this combination is going to have catastrophic consequences. I am a loud-mouth, yet I still feel confident in pointing out that most people will never have the occasion to draw a weapon on another person. But, if one drives around rural areas here in Florida long enough, one will sooner or later come across an animal that has been maimed by a car. That being the more likely scenario, does anyone want to have to carefully aim because all they have is a .32? That makes a distasteful situation worse.
Either way, the real point is that those brilliant women all have the right to vote. Connecting the dots, I wonder what new cause they will find to entertain themselves with next time and how much of my individual freedoms women’s suffrage has doomed through giving everyone’s mom the right to vote.

Today’s black metal selection is Abyssal, also a Random Tag selection from Bandcamp, of which I creatively picked the first band under said tag for popularity. In reality this is blackened-doom, perhaps a touch of thrash influenced by a few duster hits. This is music to put your pet to sleep by, honestly, this is as musically creative as recording homeless people screwing. 50%
Honestly what is minutes and minutes of rolling, rhythmic drums and guitars, played fast? Ok, great, but I don’t see how these guys could deal with listening to this stuff multiple times as they learned played it, much less… Never mind.

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Exploring Downtown Orlando and Mars Red Sky- s/t (2011)

Monday night, no work in the morning. I was mentally debating the merits of venturing out or sitting at home playing Vice City when it struck me that in the past ten years I had been “out” more in downtown San Francisco than Orlando and thus perhaps it would be entertaining to report back to the SotS readers what the The City Beautiful looks like after dark… And, yes, of course it’s going to be National Geographic style.
So I doan my jacket and an old Android and head out to explore a strange and primitive culture.
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I start my journey by beater to the east side of Lake Eola, where one day over a hundred and fifty years ago, a group of Indians and an Italian named Orlando meet. It was hot and humid, everyone had guns, someone ran his mouth and the city changed it’s name to honor his memory. Today, geese plod Orlando’s footsteps in honor of his lovely demeanor.
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Proceeding south and clock wise around Lake Eola I am struck by the apparent flying sauser that seems to have crashed into this lake. In a town of tourist attractions one must wonder why this feature is not exploited as an attraction to primitive consumers.
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I journey to the western shore of the lake past the urban non-breeding couples (people, not geese), a non-territorial people who view themselves as progressive and socially conscious.
On the western shore I continue my journey for three blocks until coming across Orange avenue and the center of Orlando’s non-commercial night life. Stopping for a beer and burger at an aptly named “Beth’s Burger Bar (yummy)”.
While waiting for my burger I browse Bandcamp looking for avproper album for this post and settled on Mars Red Sky and their self titled debut album from late 2011. A French band that has some obvious influences, but overall new, creative and dreamy psych rock, which I honestly never would have expected to have come out of France. This is one of the up and coming new psychedelic bands, having played at Roadburn last year and with many notable bands such as Earth and Queens of the Stone Age. A great psych/bluesy album, 89%.

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After a good burger and decent beer I proceed south noting that while a Monday is traditionally not a “night out”, it is totally dead tonight.
Orlando is a town taking a deep breath after the last boom. Pretending to be a prize fighter that is momentarly winded the city weezes it’s way into another year, it’s residents trudging on, unwilling to admit that it is really the warm weather and friendly faces that keeps them here and not the opportunity and cosmopolitan lifestyle. A small town at heart this city pretends to be big, it is in the middle of nowhere, positioned like a herpe on America’s wang, it’s major incentive towards economic development is cheap warehouse space, cheap labor and lots of convention space, however, the rest of America is freezing while Floridians are wearing shorts.
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Red Sparowes- At the Soundless Dawn (2005)

Post rock from L. A. playing brooding instrumental mood music, kind of a post-rock super group who has toured with or has members from half the post-rock bands around including Pelican, Iris and The Dillinger Escape Plan. Often I wonder why such talented bands aren’t better know, however it was explained to me the other day by my daughter Morgan when I asked her what the big deal was with Tylor Swift;
“You mean Taylor Swift? She’s a whore, and everybody loves a whore.”
It’s that or their use of a steel guitar. Either way, I like it better because it isn’t on the radio, but it is evident that this is their freshman album with a somewhat awkward flow, good none the less, 83%.

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Che EP (2008) [split]

Here we have the Che EP from 2009, and my first digital album purchase in literally years (laptop finally died, so I am stuck using Androids and the iPad mini, which is incredible, btw). This is a sort of compilation/split/”we’re-up-this-old-dude’s-ass-tribute”
The first track features Sunn O))) and Pan Sonic, Finnish experimental techno-soundscape duo, which is an interesting mix, somewhat typical of what you would expect from Sunn O))) making music with a pair of Finns whose music focuses on the term “soundscape”.
The second track is by Alan Vega, who is… Basically, some weird old guy that people other than me believe is talented. He is an artist and was one of the main goons for the electronic prontopunk genre, being one of the two clowns of the band Suicide, and he was also one of the main Sword Fighters of the No Wave movement in New York in the early 80’s.
This geezer Vega is who this entire EP and a series of other compilations is dedicated to, him and his “artistic vision”. Honestly, this guy just needs to wipe the blue paint off his face and move into a retirement community and drive slow like everyone his age, and everyone else needs to stop telling him he is cool, cause he isn’t. Spoken Word is not profound or chic, so if someone would just hide his Viagra and fiber pills there won’t be any wind left in his sails and he will start acting his age. (Wiki article about the pirate)
The third track is by Stephen Burroughs, an acoustic guitar piece with vocals, which is decent and in stark contrast to the rest of the EP, which I do not get at all. I think the guy is a producer, so I’m not getting this EP, at all, however what am I expecting out of a band that wears bathrobes on stage in order to be more profound? 78%, I don’t know what I was thinking buying this album.


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Another Show at Will’s Pub

Ohh wow, big suprise, $3.00 cover to see drums and fucking hipsters 45 minutes after the “show” was advertised to start. This is like the nexus of rattails and chicks with no make-up that I would likely get alcohol poisoning before I wanted to have intercourse with them… Cheap cigarettes don’t make those girls any more attractive, either.
Besides for the girls that my dog won’t hump and the guys those girls won’t screw, this show sucks. I think that I just paid three dollars to rip on people I don’t know.
That show was so unimpressive and completely Orlando-Rattail that I left after one beer in favor of playing Vice City on the iPad instead of looking at an empty stage.
So, here instead is Øresund Space Collective, Entering into the Space Country from 2011 featuring a guitarist of fame, specifically whose fame I am totally unaware of, that of Hurdy Gurdy and Secret Oyster… Killer guitar riffs and, of course, properly spacey, this is a great release, 89%.
That said, the matter of GTA Vice City 10th anniversary edition and the sporadic posts still remain to be properly addressed; The posts have skipped days because work has picked up and there have been fewer albums that I felt compelled to talk about, though ØSC is always a good backup, always putting out awesome space jams. And, as this album demonstrate, there are mounds of great European artists out there that I have never heard of, so there will be more regular posts forthcoming, including a new Nutty Cock n Nuts sodomy ‘zine which I will be sure to share as soon as I collect my mail.
Vice City; I forgot how fun this game was. The controls for the iPad leave a touch to be desired, but not much. Overall this is the exact same game, with the addition that you can use the tape deck in the cars! That is to say you make a playlist entitled “vicecity” and while driving a car switch the radio to “tape deck” and your playlist plays as part of the game! And all the maps for the hidden packages, rampages, free weapons, police stars are readily available. The only negative I can note is that the opening introduction films for GTA 3 made it crash every time, so now for Vice City I just skip past the intro, but this is the same great game we all know and love. Highly recommended.

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Explosions in the Sky

Explosions in the Sky is a Texas post rock quartet, although they claim not to be post rock, but rock… Ok guys, whatever you say, this is as post rock as it gets and quite good. Wiki reports that they are featured on a number of popular culture venues, such as some TV show I’ve never heard of, however I had never heard of this band until today so my ignorance doesn’t prove anything.
They play good, very listenable post rock, almost standard, which might explain why corporate America has embraced their music to an extent. A score of 79%, while good, not outstanding, however a YouTube playlist of their discography would be fitting for a lazy Sunday afternoon of sitting on the porch.

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