Review of the Reviews; Drudkh- Autumn Aurora (2004)

Originally this album was slated for a recent Random Downloads, however, the volume and polarity of the reviews prompted a closer look and a new category of posts; Review of the Reviews.
Drudkh, Autumn Aurora, 2004.
Got to love them, a quality album from 2004. Classic Black Metal, a perfect introduction to the genre, from the Ukraine playing a unique, epic style of black/ pagan metal that most metal heads love with a small minority vehemently hating them.

One review starts out, “It’s my job to clue you all in: Drudkh sucks. More to the point, Drudkh has ALWAYS sucked, and even their oldest material is no exception…. play generic Slavic folk melodies, and repeat themselves over and over again and you people will buy it because you have no standards. (Noktorn). Ok, I wasn’t aware that you are the Black Metal King, passing judgement on metal albums, telling us uninformed peasants what is good metal and what sucks. Homeboy needs to go back to watching Monday Night Football and listening to Kid Rock because his attitude is more in line with mass-marketed bullshit. After that tirade who cares what he thinks about the album?

Another review is bubbly and giddy over the album, “If you are looking for a black metal album packed to the brim with relentless blast beats, evil sounding guitars with unrelenting distortion that refuse to touch a major scale and over the top wails, this isn’t your album. If you are looking for the perfect atmosphere and originality, you won’t be disappointed. This is an absolute classic of the black metal genre, and certainly deserves all the attention it gets.” (Dystopia4) Too warm, too glowing, he gave the album a 99%, which is too high. That’s basically saying that there aren’t better black metal albums than this.

I argue that this is a Classic black metal album exploring new territory and sounds. It is mellower and more atmospheric than most in the genre, which makes it more listenable with a relaxing undercurrent to the entire work, 90%.

Metallum Reviews

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Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; The Stepson, The Pull-ups and Litrosis- I Am Death (2012)

Today I am going to rephrase and answer a Savage Love readers question, since no one has yet to write in seeking my advice, even a year after the start of this column.

14 year old stepson with a pull-up diaper fetish.

Dear Savage Love,
My little perv of a stepson is into wearing diapers and then pissing himself. If that wasn’t bad enough, the little fucker has taken to stealing the neighbor kid’s diapers too and he hides the used diapers in his room. The boy says he is “curious”, but after several months of this it is obvious he is getting off. I don’t think parents need to know about their children’s fetishes, but this is too much and it stinks, literally.

At least he won’t get anyone pregnant this way. In fact, his chances of getting laid are looking pretty slim at the moment. Explain to Puddles that this is the type of thing you don’t want to know about and that dirty diapers are not to be stored inside your house, then tell him the other way of handling this problem;
The other solution is to rub his nose in it, say “No” and beat him with the soiled diaper.

Original Savage Love column

Litrosis is a Greek, symphonic black metal band… A more fitting label would be “Blackened Symphonic Power Metal”, over produced, way too many synthesizers and emotional singing. Someone needs to tell these clowns that black metal lyrics are not to be sung emotionally and slowly. Seriously, I don’t think anyone in this band even listens to black metal, 25%.
(Metallum)

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Random Downloads- Mistur, Aosoth and Sorghegard

I get tired of the music I have on my phone download and a few albums at time, no rhyme nor reason, just seeking out something new, figure others might want to check out the random downloads;

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Mistur- Solid Black Metal, though short of original, a bit reminicent of Emperor and Obtained Enslavement.
(Metallum)

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Aosoth- Easily the best album of the lot, pretty good black metal from France, and one of the better albums of this year.
(Metallum)

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Sorghegard- Standard Black Metal, good, satanic with blast beats galore.
(Metallum)

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Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; Women’s Need For Change and Old Pagan/ Grausamkeit split (2000)

Women can’t be happy with the status quo. They’re made this way, the way same cats instinctually bury their turds women refuse to accept “the way things are”. No matter what they feel that their surroundings should be changed, “improved”.
During prehistoric times we were all hunter-gathers so women had to constantly seek out sources of food. In modern times, once they get back from the grocery they still have the urge to seek and lack an outlet for this instinctual drive, which is also why women can not put anything back where they found them (they enjoy looking for things).
This love of change is the reason why there are so few successful female entrepreneurs (check it out, only 20% of business with revenue over 1 million dollars are female owned). The number of business owning women is emphasized while the successful part is casually brushed aside. Most of the women are obviously going in circles spending more time changing things than making money.
Honestly, women would have had the right to vote hundreds of years earlier if they just hadn’t kept changing their minds about how to get that right. The reason slaves got the right to vote before women is because men lead that movement and it stayed on track. It is no suprise that a black man became president before a woman.
I am not saying that women’s opinions don’t matter, I’m just saying listening to them is like a sniper using buckshot; some shot will be on target but most are going to miss.

Today we have the Old Pagan/ Grausamkeit split from 2000, both german bands were solo-projects playing fast lo-fi black metal. This release was limited to 166 cassettes (Metallum) and Old Pagan has since been joined by other members, further devolving their sound.
This analog split is one of the first German Black Metal releases that I really enjoy and, refreshingly, a new split that can be termed “true black metal”, 90%.

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Judd Madden- Glacial

Judd Madden is an instrumental solo project out of Melbourne, Australia playing stoner doom low and slow. Stoner metal is a genre that has been well explored and full of cover-bands-with-different-lyrics, so it is a pleasant surprise to come across such a listenable album. The sound is thick and rich, so layered and enveloping that it almost has a soundscape nature. Excellent music for the background, though a bit too long and a touch too epic, 86%.

Glacial

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Bolt Thrower- The IV Crusade (1992/rereleased 2013)

Good, mid-tempo death metal from Coventry, England. First formed in 1986 and still active, Bolt Thrower encompasses the most listenable aspects of death metal into one appealing package. A classic with epic, catchy riffs, growled vocals along with extraordinary drumming, this is one of my all time favorite albums. Bolt Thrower has never failed to impress me, and it is impressive for an album to still be relevant enough to reissue more than twenty years later, highly recommended, 90%.

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