High On Fire show at Will’s Pub

High On Fire played the other day up at Will’s, I got up there just as they started playing, and the place was packed. Full of rat tails, hipsters and chubber-wubbers. In fact, one thick girl I saw had a portrait of herself dressed as a princess tattooed on her leg. Talk about a warning sign, wow, she might as well wear a sign saying “I’m a pain in the ass”. Now, I’m no beauty, but I had to note that High on Fire attracted an exceptionally ugly crowd. Not violent or anything like that, just really not good looking people. Seriously. On a scale of one to ten, with five being average, the majority of the crowd would have been around the 2-3 range, like, just short of obvious physical deformations. Even for Orlando this was a notable gathering of uggos, I didn’t even get a beer because I didn’t want to wade through the horde of sweaty, ugly people, brushing against me with their hair and their sweat… Gross.
The band was clearly having a good time, as was everyone else. While it was a fun show, the sound was so poor I wouldn’t call it a “good” show. The sound was so clean it could have been a CD playing and the drummer was barely audible. But, the enthusiasm was there, and Will’s is always a decent venue, so it wasn’t bad at all.

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Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; the Real Reason for Marriage and Goatwhore- Constricting Rage of the Merciless (2014)

Men rarely threaten divorce, yet it is the standard threat with women. Ever wonder why?
Marriage is an ancient custom designed to protect the woman and children before they were treated as citizens, which made sense. Modern society has turned women into equal citizens and paternity tests assign parental responsibility regardless of martial status. This freedom has made divorce an easy exit for women, which is fine, but that removes the main motivation for men to marry as well. Divorce is normally more expensive and detrimental towards the male, which means that the relationship will always be less secure for the man than it is for the woman. The ease of divorce and lack of real financial consequences for a woman seeking divorce means that for practical purposes marriage is a one sided street favoring the woman with few tangible benefits for the man other than pleasing his partner and opening himself up to financial headaches. Women know and deny this also, but during the worst arguments wives always threaten divorce, which revels their motivation for getting married.
The purpose of marriage in the modern era is to provide the woman with strategic high-ground during arguments. Women cloud the issue with different “points”, but the real reason for getting married is for the woman to have the upper hand during arguments and ultimately get her way. While dating, both partners are relative equals, which burns women’s souls as badly as a man smiling without them. Thus the reason why all girlfriends are angling, somehow, no matter how subtly, towards marriage.
Women burned their bras in their fight to be treated as equals, but now, forty years later, it’s clear that they have no desire to treat men as equals. This could explain why our forefathers resisted giving women voting rights.
Next week, I will explain why all women want the shower heads with the hose attachment.

Goatwhore’s new release Constricting Rage of the Merciless is great blackened death, plain and simple. Goatwhore has always put out quality albums and this is no exception. I’m not going to dissect it song by song like many of the Metallum reviews, if you like Goatwhore you’ll like this album.
If you haven’t heard them before, I highly recommend a listen, these guys are from Louisiana playing textbook blackened death metal and all of their albums are good enough to be left on repeat. 88%.

Metallum
DL

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Streaming Sunday, Energy 2000

Here again for Streaming Sunday we have Energy 2000’s Karman Line Velocity introducing the genre of “Chillwave”, which is both laughable and fitting at the same time. In their Bandcamp bio they mention surf rock and the vastness of space as inspirations… Their music is great to have still ringing through your ears while sitting in gentle three foot swells just beyond the line on a lazy Sunday afternoon, watching tourists quietly waddle up and down the New Smyrna beach… Chillwave, enjoy.

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Day Of The Downloads (again)- Magik Markers, Trevor Something and Pelican

Today is The Day of the Downloads, again (Why limit myself to one badly written review at a time?). A mixed bag today with four albums, ranging from post-punk and post-rock to psychedelic. Magik Markers win this round with Surrender to Fantasy, but Pelican’s album is solid too, just, not really new.

Magik Markers (2014)- great psychedelic rock, just have to get past the first song.

(DL)

Been on a Mission of Burma kick for a bit. Post-punk from 1982, this is their second album. I shared my affinity for this band with Danger, but he clearly doesn’t like them, I can only imagine the shit he’s going to say about this band the next time I see him. I don’t like this album as much as their first one, some of the energy seems to have been lost in this one.

iTunes

Random Download, post-punk from Miami, just released and… Well, it’s free anyway.

Pelican- Arktika (2014)
Post rock from Chicago, their first few albums I absolutely loved with their deep, heavy instrumental rock sound. However, half the songs on this album are basically the same riffs as their older releases with a few classic rock riffs thrown in the mix for good measure. Not a bad album by any means, but the term new doesn’t really apply.

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