Dopethrone- iii (2012)

Stoner-sludge from Montreal, while not my favorite, Dopethrone is one of those bands that should be present in a metal library. III is a good album, in a sense the quintessential stoner metal release; low, down-tuned, slow and dirty with growled vocals about marijuana. Maybe it’s because they’re French Canadian, because claiming to like a French Canadian band is one step away from rollerblading (which itself is one step away from gay sex). Either way, this is a pretty good album, 80%.




Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; Identifying Patterns and Deep Mountains- Lake of Solace (2014)

Single women in their thirties can not follow instructions. I’m not being an asshole here because it’s an established pattern. If given a task or job with detailed instructions, they’ll follow most of them, but there will always be one or two details that are omitted or changed. And, they’ll go out of their way to explain why they know better than to follow all the instructions. Same thing if they’re told to do something by a male (boss, police officer, doctor, etc). They will always argue. It is instinctual. Telling a single woman what to do is like as dumping blood in the water near sharks. Like sharks they can’t control themselves in this frenzied state, which is the reason they are single. Instead of blood, though, it’s alcohol that often creates this frenzied state.
Most women who have been with the same man for a decade or more don’t make a habit of arguing and flipping out when they have been drinking. It’s that simple. By the time a single woman is in her thirties there have normally been a few major relationships that have failed, and alcohol is always in the details somewhere.
Like sharks, single women in their thirties fill a critical role in the ecosystem, I’m just not sure what it is. The moral of the story is use caution when dumping alcohol into middle aged women.

Lake of Solace is a Chinese horde playing atmospheric black metal that I couldn’t pass up for the fact that I’ve never heard of a Chinese black metal band before. Their freshman album received two glowing reviews on Metallum, which seemed hopeful. Halfway through Lake of Solace I was still not impressed. On the sixth track they try out some growled vocals, but the vocals were sung a couple tracks back. Then, there are some acoustic guitar parts…
Atmospheric Black Metal is a genre that can become boring or silly quite easily. The sound is a difficult one to manage, and honestly there are few bands that pull it off really well, Durkth and Burzum being the notable exceptions… and this is no exception to the rule. It’s all over the place, a mismatch of sounds and styles with little real flow as a band or as an album, 65%.

(Here is a classic Black Metal post with a download link.)