Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; Identifying Patterns and Deep Mountains- Lake of Solace (2014)

Single women in their thirties can not follow instructions. I’m not being an asshole here because it’s an established pattern. If given a task or job with detailed instructions, they’ll follow most of them, but there will always be one or two details that are omitted or changed. And, they’ll go out of their way to explain why they know better than to follow all the instructions. Same thing if they’re told to do something by a male (boss, police officer, doctor, etc). They will always argue. It is instinctual. Telling a single woman what to do is like as dumping blood in the water near sharks. Like sharks they can’t control themselves in this frenzied state, which is the reason they are single. Instead of blood, though, it’s alcohol that often creates this frenzied state.
Most women who have been with the same man for a decade or more don’t make a habit of arguing and flipping out when they have been drinking. It’s that simple. By the time a single woman is in her thirties there have normally been a few major relationships that have failed, and alcohol is always in the details somewhere.
Like sharks, single women in their thirties fill a critical role in the ecosystem, I’m just not sure what it is. The moral of the story is use caution when dumping alcohol into middle aged women.

Lake of Solace is a Chinese horde playing atmospheric black metal that I couldn’t pass up for the fact that I’ve never heard of a Chinese black metal band before. Their freshman album received two glowing reviews on Metallum, which seemed hopeful. Halfway through Lake of Solace I was still not impressed. On the sixth track they try out some growled vocals, but the vocals were sung a couple tracks back. Then, there are some acoustic guitar parts…
Atmospheric Black Metal is a genre that can become boring or silly quite easily. The sound is a difficult one to manage, and honestly there are few bands that pull it off really well, Durkth and Burzum being the notable exceptions… and this is no exception to the rule. It’s all over the place, a mismatch of sounds and styles with little real flow as a band or as an album, 65%.

(Here is a classic Black Metal post with a download link.)

Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday Friday- Tornado “Victims” and Agalloch- The Serpent and The Sphere (2014)

Tornado victims in the Midwest… seriously? These people live in places like Nebraska and Iowa and Oklahoma, tornados are the most excitement those people see. Honestly, for those who survived uninjured the excitement probably did their hearts some good. I can’t imagine most of the “victims'” pulses ever reaching 100 bpm under normal circumstances. Not to sound crass, but what are they victims of? Missing Duck Dynasty?
Most of the damaged and destroyed building are at least 40 years old and probably needed to be torn down and rebuilt. These people live in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do anyway. What? We’re supposed to feel sorry for them because they have to do something constructive? Ohh no! The Pumpkin Chuckin tournament can be delayed for a couple years while those goobers rebuild (according to current building codes and with modern material). It”ll be ok, seriously, it literally took an Act of God to make those clowns insulate their buildings properly.
I have a hard time feeling sorry for people because something exciting happened to them… for the first time in fifty years.

Agalloch. Cosmic Hearse was the blog that got really me interested in the music blogging world. I’d sit for hours downloading music that dude posted. A really great blog full of good music. The author, Aesop, is the drummer in a couple of bands, including Agalloch, which is something like blackened atmospheric folk.
Honestly, I don’t get this band. Everyone loves them, they’re well respected and play at really impressive venues, but I am always left wondering what the hype is about. I thought that this album might enlighten me to their greatness, but no, still don’t get it. They bounce around between genres and the vocals are a bit too dramatic. The less appealing aspects of folk and black metal seem to have been merged into a hybrid band that plays well but just doesn’t sound right… They must be epic live. That’s the only conclusion I can draw because this album leaves me flat, 75%.



Review of the Reviews; Drudkh- Autumn Aurora (2004)

Originally this album was slated for a recent Random Downloads, however, the volume and polarity of the reviews prompted a closer look and a new category of posts; Review of the Reviews.
Drudkh, Autumn Aurora, 2004.
Got to love them, a quality album from 2004. Classic Black Metal, a perfect introduction to the genre, from the Ukraine playing a unique, epic style of black/ pagan metal that most metal heads love with a small minority vehemently hating them.

One review starts out, “It’s my job to clue you all in: Drudkh sucks. More to the point, Drudkh has ALWAYS sucked, and even their oldest material is no exception…. play generic Slavic folk melodies, and repeat themselves over and over again and you people will buy it because you have no standards. (Noktorn). Ok, I wasn’t aware that you are the Black Metal King, passing judgement on metal albums, telling us uninformed peasants what is good metal and what sucks. Homeboy needs to go back to watching Monday Night Football and listening to Kid Rock because his attitude is more in line with mass-marketed bullshit. After that tirade who cares what he thinks about the album?

Another review is bubbly and giddy over the album, “If you are looking for a black metal album packed to the brim with relentless blast beats, evil sounding guitars with unrelenting distortion that refuse to touch a major scale and over the top wails, this isn’t your album. If you are looking for the perfect atmosphere and originality, you won’t be disappointed. This is an absolute classic of the black metal genre, and certainly deserves all the attention it gets.” (Dystopia4) Too warm, too glowing, he gave the album a 99%, which is too high. That’s basically saying that there aren’t better black metal albums than this.

I argue that this is a Classic black metal album exploring new territory and sounds. It is mellower and more atmospheric than most in the genre, which makes it more listenable with a relaxing undercurrent to the entire work, 90%.

Metallum Reviews



Would Have Downloaded If It Was Free

Horseback’s A Plague of Knowing is a compilation of various stuff from the past five years released last month by Relapse Records. Bearing many tags and influences this band stretches across shoegaze and post-rock, through ambient with strong black metal influences.
Yes, influences, they aren’t in the Metal Archives and it’s obvious why, post-rock, but defiantly not metal. While some tracks are quite listenable, the live ones are easily the best with more depth and flow than the studio, over-produced tracks.
I’ve only listened to the album once as I write this, overall the live tracks are good and the last track is over 40 minutes long making an excellent background for the afternoon session. However, there is plenty of medocre music on this release, the album is hit and miss.
After a second listen I am still not convenced that I want to buy the album despite its heavy psych/stoner sound. In fact, I am even less into this album now, it is long and arduous, more a collectible for the hardcore fan than it is a serious album. There are tracks that flirt with “good” but miss the mark with the band’s sound being spread out across too many genres; 72%.
This release could have expanded their fan base had it been offered for free in digital format, however, as it is now it’s just part of Relapse’s quarterly earnings.



Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; Parental Guilt-Trips and Theoria- Mantra (2013)

The phrase “Productive Member of Society” has been often used by the Baby Boomer generation, which is ironic concidering that entire generation has been focused on retiring since they started working… retirement is when the individual stops being a productive member of society.
Seems that their logic is hypocritical and self-serving, they put their kids in daycare and shuffled them out of the house at eighteen so that they could prepare to stop working and sit on their asses ASAP. Theirs’ is the first generation to feel entitled to sit around and do nothing. Every generation before them expected to work until they died, our generation is going to work until we die, so where do the Baby Boomers get off expecting a free ride because they worked all of forty years?
Watch, their next catch phrase is going to be “Honor thy mother and father”, which in reality is the preamble to some explaination as to why their children should do something for them… Something that they could take care of themselves, but feel they are entitled to be provided whatever service they happen to be attempting to guilt-trip out of their children.
The Baby Boomers are really the “Me” generation, everything is about them, always has been and always will be. They put their children in daycare not because they thought it the best for the children, but because it was easier for themselves, just like the divorces.
Honoring thy mother and father is a two way street in the sense that the parents have an implied obligation to do more than the bare minium for their children, which is not what the Me Generation has ever been about.
They have some perverse, ingrained logic that they should get the better end of all deals, every time. This is the reason why, as a group, women of this generation are wretched in the field of business. The men are barely any better though and as a generation they twist, skew and apply arbitrary judgement to try and weasel the best deal possible. Watching a pair of Baby Boomers try and do business is like watching a Jew at a Gypsy’s yard sale.
I’m just saying these old fuckers are going to be around for another fifty years, so be warned the Me generation and their antics are only going to get worse.
(It’s not like they’re going to wake up some morning and suddenly stop being assholes.)

Theoria is Atmospheric Black Metal made in Syrian city of Aleppo and released May of this year. Atmospheric Black Metal recorded in the midst of an urban civil war, this album definatly has more emotion and feeling than most of the Yuppispheric Black Metal that is the reigning trend these days. A duo, with one writing and the other playing and both doing vocals. It sounds like an odd set-up for a band but they pull it off remarkably well with a sound slightly reminiscent of Emperor. The sound isn’t over-produced and sterile, nor is it muddy and distorted, it has a pleasant flow and it is offered for free.
A good atmospheric black metal album, released in a year of few quality releases and recorded in a war zone, this ranks a solid 91%.



Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; Covelo and Sannhet- Known Flood (2013)

Here in Central Florida there is an unusually large population of Yankees (peoples originating north of the Mason-Dixon Line). The Angry Ginger claims that they are the Yankees who couldn’t cut it in New York.
Covelo, California was a magical place, remote and mountainous with only one road into the valley during the winter, 28 miles off US 101 in the middle of an Indian reservation. With a population of less than 2,000 there are two types of people in Round Valley; Indians and everyone else.
A friend moved there in 2005 when it truly was the Wild West, the mine had shut down years before and Mendocino as a county was suffering economically. There wasn’t even a bar for the Indians to get drunk at, that is, until Proposition 215 . That changed everything, suddenly scores of young men were drawn to this desolate valley earning ridiculous incomes with virtually no law enforcement short of federal DEA agents flying over head in blacked-out helicopters. The sheriff’ department took over an hour to respond to 911 calls, on a good day. The tribal police only responded to calls concerning nonIndians if there was an excessive amount of gunfire.
Never did I see a Yankee out in The Valley, not once was I threatened by some Yankee clown disapproving of my driving habits, threatening to “fuck your shit up” out of a cracked car window.
The Angry Ginger is correct, they couldn’t cut it in New York and that is why they fled to Florida. A flood of Loser-Refugees that calls 911 when anyone yells back at them, flowing down Interstate 95 like a great exodus of human sewage.
Honestly, the only proper way to respond to these asshole Yankees is to ignore them. It is like a toddler having a temper tantrum, acknowledging their bad behavior only encourages more bad behavior. Also, that way door-wacking momentum works against the loud-mouth idiot approaching a vehicle (as the Professor once demonstrated to good effect).

Today we have Sannhet’s Known Flood, which is instrumental, exprimental, post-rockish/shoegaze black metal. Released February of this year this freshman full length album is good, but the atmospheric style has already been well played and charging $7 for a digital download seems unrealistic and conceited. Too many looped background noises and too much of the musical territory has already been trampled by similar bands in recent years, though not bad per se, it earns a solid C score of 75%.



Elvira’s Mom and Farallon- Stellar Descent / Aylwin split (2013)

Recently, CCRR observed that the feral cats in the neighborhood were putting on weight. Logically speaking, there had to be an explanation for this, and thus began The Mystery of the Fat Cats. “Coincidently” we also noticed the crazy old lady that lived in one of the apartments across the street (Elvira’s Mom), was moving.
After several seconds of intense concentration we deduced the only logical explanation for the feral cat’s weight gain is that Elvira’s Mom has been feeding the cats.
In the light of the moon she duck-walks naked into the front yard of the apartments with a can of raw tuna stuffed into her orifices, then, standing still as a statue, she waits for the feral cats to approach and feed, like a hunter. When the street light momentarily flickers back on, she throws a blanket over herself like Frodo, in Lord of the Rings and, disguises herself as a rock.

Today we have the Farralon split featuring Stellar Descent and Aylwin, a black metal band and an atmospheric blackened post-rock band. The split has the typical California-Cool-Kid in so far as they only made 10 physical copies (hand numbered, of course), then, later, another twenty, other than that it is free and Bandcamp-only at the moment, which is real nice.
The first track is by Aylwin and while listenable, it is too long and the whole blackened atmospheric and post-rock sounds have been pretty well explored, and this track belonged in the last slot, not the first. It would have fit into the flow much better at that spot, sleepy songs aren’t good first songs.
The second and third tracks are by Stellar Descent and is in actuality just one good, long, soaring song. While thoroughly black metal an acoustic guitar is used to good effect, and while some might call the part with the Canadian geese (I’m not kidding) a bit much, I still enjoy this song and it carries this split into the category of one of this years best releases to date.
It is rare now a days to see a band explore new sounds from a purely black metal perspective (most attempts are just cover bands who forgot the original lyrics), 89%.


And here we have a picture from DasBüt and the latest Nutty Cock and Nuts Sodomy ‘zine


Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; Female Politicians and Eater of Souls, Mirror of the World(2013)

Wendy Davis stood and talked for thirteen hours on the floor of the Texas Senate because some clown gave her a microphone and told her everyone had to sit and listen so long as she could talk. And talk she did, for ten long hours. She spoke under the guise of blocking new abortion legislation, but her real motivation was the captive audience forced to listen to her opinions.
Honestly, I’m surprised this doesn’t occur more often considering the number of female politicians in this country. Hell, this might be why women were barred from public office for so long. It is weird how women can take an issue that inherently revolves around dead babies and turn it into torturing men for ten hours. And she is threatening to run for governor of Texas… It’ll be like church, an hour a week. I can see it already, every male Texan must appear every week and listen to that bag spout off for an hour, under pain of neutering.
It is inevitable, just as Sulla and the military coup lead to the fall of the Roman Republic, female politicians will inevitably lead to all mankind being required to submit to state dictated female tirades. Our testes will be surgically removed and entrusted to our wives if we continue to allow women to vote. That woman spouting-off for ten hours was the tip of the iceberg. Everyone will believe me when they get an official notice from Hillary Clinton telling them to go to their nearest veterinary office at their earliest convince.

Today’s Black Metal selection is Eater of Souls’ EP, Mirror of the World. An atmospheric solo-project out of the Netherlands, this freshman release is masterfully compiled and while the atmospheric black metal is getting a bit played, this is so well executed that it deserves recognition as one of this years good releases, 87%.



Random Downloads

Random Downloads;

This is the beginning of a new section where I share some of the music I have been downloading lately from other blogspots along with my own brief analysis along with links to both the downloads and blogs.

Corgnir; GhostsOfSaturn Average black metal, not particularly impressive, good fast black metal played by talented musicians. (74%)
Download Erie. Recommended.
Din of Awakening download

NoCleanSinging, Ash Borer Good black metal played by good musicians, but I’m not seeing what all the hype is about.

BloggersInTheNorth Fullmoon Polish NSBM from the early 1990’s, lo-fi and with a medieval gothic sound. This is a recording from the early Polish NSBM scene which is the start of NSBM as a definable genre, as such it is a music collectable. Highly recommended because these early Polish recordings are pretty hard to find at times.
download the hate


Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; The Baby Boomer Generation are a Bunch of Assholes and Darkspace- Darkspace I (2003)

A couple of years ago a friend who lives out west among the Red Woods made a comment referring to our generation as the “Loser Generation “. Looking inside at all the cabinet doors he had torn off in a drunken rage I decided not to voice my opposition to that label, but it did get me to thinking.
The Angry Ginger confidently proclaimed that it is because the Baby Boomer generation (our parents generation) are, “a bunch of assholes” who put us in day-care.
Simplistic answer, but thinking about it, our generation (the Loser generation) was the first generation put in day-care so that the women could work.
Once women could work, divorce rates and credit card spending sky-rocketed, and now thirty years later the entire generation hasn’t saved for retirement and so is depending on Social Security, funded by the Loser generation, to support them for the next thirty years until they die…
So basically our generation as a whole, were raised by strangers, left home before financially ready, all so that our parents would have more disposable income to pay divorce attorneys and buy crap at Wal-Mart?
Yeah the Baby Boomers are a bunch of assholes.

Darkspace is an atmospheric black metal band from Bern, Switzerland, they are one of the very few bands that can pull off that sound without an excessive cheese factor or outright Burzum worship.