Fell Voices- Regnum Saturni (2013)

I’ve had mixed feelings about Fell Voices in the past, honestly, it seems like they are a bit over hyped in the blogosphere, like suddenly they have been dubbed “the cool kids” in an electronic world of patchouli people. This album, just released on March 25, by the Santa Cruz based band playing droney USBM, and yes, it is good, though defiantly hyped.
The first song is masterfully played, but so long and meandering it comes across as a drunk man wandering through the mall parking lot. The second track is more along the lines of what I was expecting, after 17 minutes of the first track it was a present blast back into good black metal. The third track isn’t as strong as the second and is more blackened-ambient/drone, and they have put out other, stronger albums. This album wanders and is longer than what it needed to be, or maybe I’m just not that into them, but this album gets an 85%.



Reducing Gun Violence By Revoking Women’s Suffrage and Abyssal (2013)

Today’s Relationship Advice focuses on women’s thought processes and logic
We have a quote from a Fox News story from earlier this week-
“Inside the Capitol, about 75 members of One Million Moms for Gun Control and other groups thanked Cuomo and lawmakers for leadership in setting gun limits they expect to help reduce violence.” [Full Article here]
This quote explains a lot about women’s thought processes, what they mean is “We don’t like guns and don’t think anyone should have them because we don’t like them.”
Either that or they are idiots. I “expect” a light to come on when I flip the switch because it has happened literally thousands of times before… Now, these women are “expecting” gun control to limit violence, although there is no precedence to logically draw this conclusion, no evidence, no historical legacy, nothing. In fact, during Roman times there was not one semi automatic gun available and yet millions of people died violent deaths. Hundreds of thousands were hacked to death with machetes in Rwanda during the 1990’s, so these women’s expectations seem to be based on the belief that the world will be a better place if everyone would just listen to them and not logic.
I will point out that long ago everyone got together and wrote down the agreed upon answers to many of these core questions of modern civilization;
1. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and to voice it.
2. Everyone can have a gun.
I notice that no one felt the need to write down praise for women’s intuition and the necessity to involve their opinions in the governance of the country. Also, note that not everyone could vote; obviously there were plenty of Dinks then as there are now and it was implied that their opinions didn’t matter either.
Back to the Moms Against Everyone Else Having Guns and their unrealistic, illogical and unfounded expectations, let me point out that 150 years ago women didn’t have the right to vote and there was a notable lack of school and theater mass-shootings. Besides for that, Saudi Arabia in modern times does not have women’s suffrage and there also is a notable lack of school and theater mass-shootings. Revoking women’s right to vote appears the more logical solution to curbing “violence” than does legislation limiting magazine capacity.
Just as those women are entitled to their opinion it appears that everyone is also entitled to high capacity magazines, however, I do have to question the logic behind these magazines. The obvious reasoning (to me anyway) is rarely used; baked target shooting. After a good session no one wants to stop every tenth shot to reload. No one ever points that one out though, one always hears these wild-eyed urban combat scenarios, that I don’t really hear about happening too much in real life.
Honestly, how many shots do you need to get your point across? Thinking about it, what asshole is going to keep coming at someone after they just gunned down seven or eight of their companions? Even if it’s just two or three, who is going to keep coming? Seriously, what do these guys foresee themselves doing where they kill seven men, and yet they still keep coming?! That eighth person would have to be one pissed-off motherfucker. What in the world are these guys planning on saying to get people that riled up? In my opinion if someone has been that much of an asshole then they can take time out of their day to reload, however, my opinion doesn’t need to be forced upon everyone else as law.
It appears that many people in America believe that they themselves are bad shots and loud-mouths and that one day this combination is going to have catastrophic consequences. I am a loud-mouth, yet I still feel confident in pointing out that most people will never have the occasion to draw a weapon on another person. But, if one drives around rural areas here in Florida long enough, one will sooner or later come across an animal that has been maimed by a car. That being the more likely scenario, does anyone want to have to carefully aim because all they have is a .32? That makes a distasteful situation worse.
Either way, the real point is that those brilliant women all have the right to vote. Connecting the dots, I wonder what new cause they will find to entertain themselves with next time and how much of my individual freedoms women’s suffrage has doomed through giving everyone’s mom the right to vote.

Today’s black metal selection is Abyssal, also a Random Tag selection from Bandcamp, of which I creatively picked the first band under said tag for popularity. In reality this is blackened-doom, perhaps a touch of thrash influenced by a few duster hits. This is music to put your pet to sleep by, honestly, this is as musically creative as recording homeless people screwing. 50%
Honestly what is minutes and minutes of rolling, rhythmic drums and guitars, played fast? Ok, great, but I don’t see how these guys could deal with listening to this stuff multiple times as they learned played it, much less… Never mind.


RED FANG -Prehistoric Dog (or the battle for middle Seattle)

Red Fang has some real interesting videos. They’re obviously goons, don’t get me wrong, but the videos are great. The music is decent; catchy, but the riffs and vocals and song structure are pretty similar in most of their songs. Their videos are the main attraction definatly, in this one these goons see some other goons and then go home and make their own battle armor out of beer cans and then go back and find the other bunch of goons and then have a mock battle with their beer can weapons… like I said they are creative, sorta.

Earth- Angels of Darkness, Demons of Light II (2012)

I have been complaining the quality and quantity of this summer’s new albums, but I just now noticed that Earth put out a new album in February on Southern Lord Records, so I have to check it out since I was complaining.
Earth has been around since 1990 playing down-tuned sludge/doom/drone… sort of, their sound has progressed over time and drug addictions changing with every album, possessing their distinct “Earth” sound, but moving around from sludge and doom and metal to radio-pop and drone dominating different releases. A post metal/ post rock sound are apparent in this album, which I didn’t like real well at first, but after listening to it again it is growing on me.
Earth is a band that is a bit timeless, with a sound that isn’t tied to an era but rather a mind-set, like the Violent Femmes and how their music speaks to 15 year olds, Earth has a mellow quality that speaks to burn outs in their twenties and thirties.
This album is the second in a two part series, the first being released last year, which brings up the question about why everyone is putting out these mulit-part albums? Bunt Aus Nord did the same thing (with their third part being released later this month I think) and a few others I believe. It seems like one album dominates and the others are more or less filler material. Weird. Anyway, I am going to do a post next week about the first part and of the series overall.
Maybe I will understand the whole series thing after I listen to the first, I don’t know. I also saw The Two Towers first, then Return of the King, so I guess I have a habit of doing things BassAckwards so whatevesies. Speaking of which the first YouTube video is from one of their older albums and the one below is from this year’s album. (I like the first one better that’s why it is on top)


Black Tusk show at the Social last Tuesday (5/29)

Municipal Waste played at the Social on Tuesday and RK talked me into going. I’ve never really cared for thrash, but Black Tusk was playing and I have wanted to see them play for a while.
Black Tusk had started playing by the time we got there and while the acoustics suck in the Social (vaulted ceilings with lots of right angles) they played with intensity and enthusiasm and gently wafting beards…
I would not have called either band “beard metal” but I learn something new every day. I used to think Beard Metal was a musical genre, but come to find out it is referencing the fans, thus the lower case letter designation; beard metal.
All shapes and sized of beards and clowns attached to them, but there was also the copious amount of good looking women, which is often an indication that a band playing has hit the mainstream; Municipal Waste. Their fans really clenched the deal on me not liking them, a bunch of Winter Park kids who grew beards and think they are cool, besides for the suspicion that the singer jerks off while smiling at himself in the mirror… Yeah that was the biggest bunch of ass-clowns I’d seen in a while, along with the security guards waddling around with stern, meaningful expressions on their faces… Which brings up the question of why were men with thyroid and or eating disorders hired as security? One drunk who is proficient at giving tittie-twisters could cause some real chaos.


“The beard defines the man” -RK.

“If it wasn’t for the beard he would just be the fat guy in suspenders” -Apogeematt

“Be a man and grow a beard” -Random Guy (bearded)