Today’s Relationship Advice Wednesday is about a recent revelation which is so profound and overwhelming as a topic that I can not help but comment; Darin (Hobbit-Darin), would give his dog handies, as a teen, in front of company. As if it were perfectly natural to be jacking off the family dog.
Normally I would dismiss such as story, but there are two verifiable witnesses to this mastermind at work.
In fact, Filipe made him stop. So the poor dog didn’t even get to finish. Which, all considering, at that point, likely constitutes animal abuse because its not like that dog is ever going to be normal again, so he was just aroused and then deprived at that point, which is cruel, even to do to a dog.
In Darin’s defense, he was “relieving the dog’s sexual tension”, which sounds noble, until he pulled out a sock and started to service the dog… My first question once I stopped laughing was, “Did you tell his mom?”, but honestly, she probably didn’t want to know. Of course, how is a teen supposed to tell another teens parents that their son is giving pleasure to the dog?
That had to be the peak of a very weird iceberg, begging many questions, such as;
1. What did the parents expressions look like when they inevitably caught their teenage son giving a tug-job to the dog? (With a sock)
2. Was there a history of mental illness and or sexual abuse in the family? Or did he conceive of this on his own? (I refuse to believe that it was the dog’s idea)
3. What did the dog look like?
4. Is the dog still alive? If so does the Darin still play with it’s Red Rocket?
5. If the dog is deceased, how badly did he take it? Did he go through a mourning period like a widow?
6. Why in the world is the dog’s sexual tension a matter of concern?
This post is more of a public service announcement really, since it is the start of summer vacation, and idle hands are the devil’s workshop.
Today’s black metal is Zinumm, a Spanish solo project playing Gaelic themed black metal. Brilliant tremolo guitar riffs and computer derived blast beats, the “wall of sound” approach was taken on this EP and the bonus track is a serene Spanish guitar bit, closing out the album quite nicely.
While, the musician is quite good, the production is wretched, and I am quite sure a drum machine was used as well… The production so bad that the album would have benefited from being recorded on analog (rather than being butchered by a computer); 74%.