Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday and Halcyon Dawn compilation (2011)

At first I was at a loss as to what to write for this week’s Relationship Advice post until standing in line waiting for coffee; personal space. At some point portions of our society feel that they have evolved to the point where it is perfectly acceptable to stand 12 inches away from someone in line or to speak to strangers who are using a public bathroom. The ones who are the worst about this are office workers. It is like the effects of being cramped into a four by four foot space has eroded their sense of space to the extent that even pack animals such as hound dogs feel uncomfortable by their total disregard for personal boundaries.
While construction is the barbarian’s profession overall, there are certain aspects that are highly civilized, such as no conversations shall breech the scared walls of the Port-O-Potty. While this is only enforced by OSHA, everyone else just uses common sense and acknowledges that few people are in the mood for conversation with their fellow man while they are exercising their bowls.
Of all the times I have crapped in an orange grove while at work, not once has anyone tried to talk to me. In fact, co-workers always politely stand at the edge of the grove to throw rocks and oranges. However, as soon as I set foot inside an office building people start talking to me in the fucking bathroom!
Besides for that, Cubicle People will stand uncomfortably close whenever the chance presents itself, almost as if it is some twisted office worker game like Limbo turned ninety degree with bad breath.
For those who need to be told, personal space is measured in feet, not inches. For example, if a person has an unexpectedly wet fart there should be enough clearance so that no one gets “misted”. If someone does get misted, it’s their own fault, personal space.

Today we have a compilation from Halcyon Recordings which is a random Bandcamp find of Blackened-shoegaze which is listenable, however I am finding that Apogeic Swell’s Awash is my favorite of the compilation. Nice, long songs, however nothing incredible or breathtaking or ground breaking, almost standardized DSBM/USBM. While the US has bred some incredible black metal bands, we also have a habit of breeding cover bands that are about as innovative musicians as a radio. While this comp is not that bad, the third track defiantly carries the album; 73%

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Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday;The Half-Brain Theory and Happy Days – Melancholic Memories (2008)

Recently a friend who is also married to an identical twin commented on how he suspected that his wife and sister-in-law shared a brain, and a broken one at that. I was quick to agree as my own experiences had led me to suspect the same, however I decided to research the matter further to determine if we were chavaunists or scientists.
Come to find out that we are scientists because on average women’s brains weigh 110 grams less than the average male brain (WikiAnswers).
Everyone has heard that people use only 10% of their brain, and the average female brain weighs 1250 grams versus 1360 grams for men. Meaning that women only use approximately 125 grams of their brain, so men have literally 110 grams of brains more than women and thus almost twice their brain-power. That’s almost four ounces of grey matter.
This explains a great many things not the least of which is the lack of women’s suffrage for the majority of human history and the popularity of Sex in the City, but I digress.
Back to the half-brain theory; Even in light of my ground-breaking research and simplistic interpretation I am still not sure it is even a whole brain between the two I am most familiar with…

DSBM (depressive suicidal black metal) from Sarasota, Florida. Interesting and local, with a funny name considering, I like it because it explores the two-man territory of the DSBM sound, which is different anyway. Two thirds of the reviews for this album on Metallum are luke-warm and overly critical, so don’t expect it to be profound and ground breaking.

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