Punk/Rock show in New Smyrna Beach

New Smyrna Beach is an old Florida beach town with a tourist problem, 300 surfable days a year and a surprisingly vibrant local music scene. People move there to get away from the traffic and noise of Orlando. A quiet little surf town full of familiar faces half remembered from blurred memories of half forgotten venues.

Obviously a punk-rock show there is an event not to be missed, so I booked a room, packed a valium and drove the 50 miles to NSB arriving just in time for drinks with friends before the first band set up.

The first band, IVVI Berry was good, groovey Shoe-Gaze. They claim to be Math Rock, but whateves. They put on a good show, however I felt the need to make fun of them for some inexplicable reason. I’m guessing a glance at the comments in their high school yearbooks would explain my gut feeling on the matter. Either way, it was a good set and found a pair of Costa sunglasses and a hash oil vape pen on the ground.

Birds on a Kill started off their set with a lot of energy and since this is Florida not everyone was wearing shoes; dad punk at it’s finest.

Around their third song things became fuzzy and I began experiencing personal earthquakes, possibly brought on by IPAs and whiskey. Nothing too serious though, the quakes being in the area of 5.6-5.8 on the Richter scale. I managed to snap a picture of the moment. Things were getting lively and I needed to seek shelter back at the hotel room, quickly.

“I’ve known Matt a long time, and when he starts repeating himself he is pretty hammered” -Danger Dobbs, member of the search and rescue team.

Because of the adverse conditions I missed Rush More‘s set, but I am sure it was stellar. In fact, my departure was so abrupt that friends mounted an abortive search and rescue effort. Despite numerous strategic and tactical difficulties my withdraw to the hotel room was completed with a minimal of casualties. I happened to be struck by falling debris. Or I fell into debris.

Regardless of the inherent hazards of falling debris and personal earthquakes, the show was a roaring success and I am looking forward to the next one.

Another Show at Will’s Pub

Ohh wow, big suprise, $3.00 cover to see drums and fucking hipsters 45 minutes after the “show” was advertised to start. This is like the nexus of rattails and chicks with no make-up that I would likely get alcohol poisoning before I wanted to have intercourse with them… Cheap cigarettes don’t make those girls any more attractive, either.
Besides for the girls that my dog won’t hump and the guys those girls won’t screw, this show sucks. I think that I just paid three dollars to rip on people I don’t know.
That show was so unimpressive and completely Orlando-Rattail that I left after one beer in favor of playing Vice City on the iPad instead of looking at an empty stage.
So, here instead is Øresund Space Collective, Entering into the Space Country from 2011 featuring a guitarist of fame, specifically whose fame I am totally unaware of, that of Hurdy Gurdy and Secret Oyster… Killer guitar riffs and, of course, properly spacey, this is a great release, 89%.
That said, the matter of GTA Vice City 10th anniversary edition and the sporadic posts still remain to be properly addressed; The posts have skipped days because work has picked up and there have been fewer albums that I felt compelled to talk about, though ØSC is always a good backup, always putting out awesome space jams. And, as this album demonstrate, there are mounds of great European artists out there that I have never heard of, so there will be more regular posts forthcoming, including a new Nutty Cock n Nuts sodomy ‘zine which I will be sure to share as soon as I collect my mail.
Vice City; I forgot how fun this game was. The controls for the iPad leave a touch to be desired, but not much. Overall this is the exact same game, with the addition that you can use the tape deck in the cars! That is to say you make a playlist entitled “vicecity” and while driving a car switch the radio to “tape deck” and your playlist plays as part of the game! And all the maps for the hidden packages, rampages, free weapons, police stars are readily available. The only negative I can note is that the opening introduction films for GTA 3 made it crash every time, so now for Vice City I just skip past the intro, but this is the same great game we all know and love. Highly recommended.


Jucifer Show at Will’s Pub review

Ok, I waited until 7 to start drinking so that I would not be totally annotated (spell-check, but I like it better) by the time a band was ready to play. However, that said, it is 10 o’clock and someone is finally starting the sound check for the show that was supposed to start at 9, so I am going to grab another beer and check these guys out.
Minutes later I return to report;
Wow, crap-o-la. I don’t know who was playing, but boy they brought out the rat-tails, I tell you. The crowd was so greasy I left after three songs and my second beer. All there was to report was Jucifer’s (I am guessing) wall of sound crap; wow, there was a lot of stuff there, stacked to the ceiling, a lot for a two piece, but I heard that they are incredibly loud. I suppose I should have stayed and heard them play, but I was in genuine fear that if I stood near those people too long I would contract some odd affliction like scabies or lice.


May 10th Rattail-Track-Bike Gay-Off at the Peacock Room

   This is what I get for listening to WPRK, I’m at the Peacock Room drinking a White Russian listening to Walk This Way and watching a lesbian that looks like Kevin from the Wonder Years lip-sing the crap. That’s not even the worst of it, all these dumb cratees talking and talking and talking about the dumbest shit and the only reason anyone listens to them is for a chance at the Stink-Hole. Good God. Not to get off subject, but do chicks really think that guys value their opinion and insights?! For real! If any of these guys believe the shit they are saying or are as intrested in a female opinion as they are acting, well, obviously they were breast-fed well into their teens… goddamn.
The Gay-Off, yeah. Some Ass-Clown at the door told me there was not a cover, but a $5 donation was required… I tried to tell him that was not a donation but a cover-charge and he proceeded to inform me that it was a donation since it was a worthy cause.
First off, a donation is not required. Second, Habitat for Humanity is not a worthy cause, it’s White People Building Crack-Houses. Fuck them, they can build their own houses.
Anyway, the Gay-Off is for some other ass-clown to ride 4,000 miles to raise money to build more Crack-Houses. There are two track-bikes being given away for the Sword-Fighting champions or some shit like that. It’s like a Dandy Warhols video in here, only with ugly chicks that need to use make-up.
This place needs some excitement, but the Mercenary won’t come out and I don’t want to look like the Drunken Asshole alone (White Russians are the Mercenary’s drink)… I don’t know what he went to war for if he isn’t going to get kicked out of a bar or two when he gets back…

Alchest show at Will’s Pub

   Last Thursday Alchest played at Wills with Deafheaven, Legions and Fire in the Cave.  I attended with my old friend and fellow metal head, RK, and we arrived in time for several of Fire in the Cave’s songs, and their down-tuned and unique style is a breath of fresh air in a town that has too many cover bands and bands that are too dumb to realize that they are just cover bands with different lyrics performed by thirty-somthing hair-goons… But I digress, the band was good and definatly worth seeing.
   Speaking of worth seeing, wow, there were some badly dressed women there. I’m not trying to be mean here, but someone needs to tell their girlfriend to let her mom dress her from now. For real, bright peach jean-shorts aren’t cool on anyone. Even the Pissed-off-Retard that lives down the street would heckle this chick while he did his end-zone victory dance wearing a paintball mask. It was bad. And there were others too…
   The cappuccino stout was still on tap and by some cruel twist of fate RK had to take a drip-test in the morning, so he couldn’t drink, only watch me get hammered like some poor dejected child whose family couldn’t afford roller-skates for him.
Legions played next and they were pretty good, however some of the songs later in their set leaned more towards technical death metal, which I am not a huge fan of, but Whatevesies. Other than those couple of songs they are another band that’s definatly worth seeing again.
After that RK was starting to look as suicidal as the kid wearing the lifelover shirt and soon there after we agree it was time to go… I was talking too loudly and the stouts were taking their toll.
A good show all in all, even though I didn’t see the headlining band, again, but this time I awoke clothed but clutching a Sierra Nevada with The Fellowship of the Ring playing on repeat… Apogeematt