Astralia- Atlas (2014)

Astralia is a band from Barcelona playing tremendous post rock. Remember how mind blowing Pelican sounded the first time? That heavy, brooding, instrumental post rock that pulls the listener into the music? Astralia fits into that realm also with an intense and gripping sound that is the hallmark of true post rock. SpaceC refers to this as “thinking mans music”, which is funny coming from the guy who has already lost two smart phones this year. Either way, Atlas is Astralia’s sophomore album is deep and epic, 88%.

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Reducing Gun Violence By Revoking Women’s Suffrage and Abyssal (2013)

Today’s Relationship Advice focuses on women’s thought processes and logic
We have a quote from a Fox News story from earlier this week-
“Inside the Capitol, about 75 members of One Million Moms for Gun Control and other groups thanked Cuomo and lawmakers for leadership in setting gun limits they expect to help reduce violence.” [Full Article here]
This quote explains a lot about women’s thought processes, what they mean is “We don’t like guns and don’t think anyone should have them because we don’t like them.”
Either that or they are idiots. I “expect” a light to come on when I flip the switch because it has happened literally thousands of times before… Now, these women are “expecting” gun control to limit violence, although there is no precedence to logically draw this conclusion, no evidence, no historical legacy, nothing. In fact, during Roman times there was not one semi automatic gun available and yet millions of people died violent deaths. Hundreds of thousands were hacked to death with machetes in Rwanda during the 1990’s, so these women’s expectations seem to be based on the belief that the world will be a better place if everyone would just listen to them and not logic.
I will point out that long ago everyone got together and wrote down the agreed upon answers to many of these core questions of modern civilization;
1. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and to voice it.
2. Everyone can have a gun.
I notice that no one felt the need to write down praise for women’s intuition and the necessity to involve their opinions in the governance of the country. Also, note that not everyone could vote; obviously there were plenty of Dinks then as there are now and it was implied that their opinions didn’t matter either.
Back to the Moms Against Everyone Else Having Guns and their unrealistic, illogical and unfounded expectations, let me point out that 150 years ago women didn’t have the right to vote and there was a notable lack of school and theater mass-shootings. Besides for that, Saudi Arabia in modern times does not have women’s suffrage and there also is a notable lack of school and theater mass-shootings. Revoking women’s right to vote appears the more logical solution to curbing “violence” than does legislation limiting magazine capacity.
Just as those women are entitled to their opinion it appears that everyone is also entitled to high capacity magazines, however, I do have to question the logic behind these magazines. The obvious reasoning (to me anyway) is rarely used; baked target shooting. After a good session no one wants to stop every tenth shot to reload. No one ever points that one out though, one always hears these wild-eyed urban combat scenarios, that I don’t really hear about happening too much in real life.
Honestly, how many shots do you need to get your point across? Thinking about it, what asshole is going to keep coming at someone after they just gunned down seven or eight of their companions? Even if it’s just two or three, who is going to keep coming? Seriously, what do these guys foresee themselves doing where they kill seven men, and yet they still keep coming?! That eighth person would have to be one pissed-off motherfucker. What in the world are these guys planning on saying to get people that riled up? In my opinion if someone has been that much of an asshole then they can take time out of their day to reload, however, my opinion doesn’t need to be forced upon everyone else as law.
It appears that many people in America believe that they themselves are bad shots and loud-mouths and that one day this combination is going to have catastrophic consequences. I am a loud-mouth, yet I still feel confident in pointing out that most people will never have the occasion to draw a weapon on another person. But, if one drives around rural areas here in Florida long enough, one will sooner or later come across an animal that has been maimed by a car. That being the more likely scenario, does anyone want to have to carefully aim because all they have is a .32? That makes a distasteful situation worse.
Either way, the real point is that those brilliant women all have the right to vote. Connecting the dots, I wonder what new cause they will find to entertain themselves with next time and how much of my individual freedoms women’s suffrage has doomed through giving everyone’s mom the right to vote.

Today’s black metal selection is Abyssal, also a Random Tag selection from Bandcamp, of which I creatively picked the first band under said tag for popularity. In reality this is blackened-doom, perhaps a touch of thrash influenced by a few duster hits. This is music to put your pet to sleep by, honestly, this is as musically creative as recording homeless people screwing. 50%
Honestly what is minutes and minutes of rolling, rhythmic drums and guitars, played fast? Ok, great, but I don’t see how these guys could deal with listening to this stuff multiple times as they learned played it, much less… Never mind.

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The Ich Crew

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Recently M was over at my house and asked me who the “Ich Crew” was, as spaceC, RK and I have all mentioned them. At the time we were sitting on the porch and I pointed at the house directly across the street where a sizable number of grubby looking adults and half naked tottlers stood in the dirt driveway smoking cigarettes and looking stupid. I explained that we strongly suspect the whole bunch are addicted to pain killers, the ones that make you Ich, thus the name.
Shortly after M left, late in the afternoon, the industrious and ichy bunch proved that they are productive members of society by constructing their own clothsline, in the front yard, using literally nothing but sticks, twine and their intellect.
Not to be rude, but I will point out that the line was doubled up, it was long enough to make it to the palm tree in the background; the half-assed stake is totally unneeded.
Anyway the search mission and the 4:19 traffic reports will resume shortly, once it isn’t so obscenely hot and humid. And the helicopter is down… literally. I was a bit drunk and threw it off the roof.
-ApogeeMatt

Communication with SpaceC!!!

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Thanks to Facebook we have managed to communicate with SpaceC! RK and I are formulating a rescue mission currenty. Well, after happy hour.
Here is a transcript of our communication;

SpaceC:  No mention of my phone and have you seen my wallet
Thursday, June 14, 2010 at 12:15pm

ApogeeMatt: no, no sign of your wallet. when are you writing this from? the past? is it via your phone? your past-phone? or your presemt-smart-phone? glad to hear you are OK wherever you are
Thursday, June 14, 2012 at 1:55pm

SpaceC: duh its 2010
Thursday, June 14, 2010 at 2:19pm

ApogeeMatt: ohh ok. be calm and dont worry we’re coming to get you.
Thursday, June 14, 2012 at 2:27pm

ApogeeMatt: by the way if you dont have anything else to do while waiting for is, would you mind cutting the lawn so the code-enforcement dick doesnt leave the notice to cut my grass that i got this morning?
Thursday, June 14, 2012 at 2:29pm

SpaceC: What year is this matt in
Thursday, June 14, 2010

ApogeeMatt: since you’re in 2010 and i’m in 2012, i am guessing it averages out to 2011.

4:19 SpaceC Rescue Mission to the PAST

RK and I built a time-machine to go to the past to look for SpaceC (and his phone). It is complex piece of engineering, so I’m not going to take the time to explain all of the technical specifications, but it does have “On” and “Off” buttons.
We will fearless journey to the past, and as always, document it LIVE, via YouTube. Now in High Definition.
SpaceC, don’t worry, we’re coming to get you.

Lost SpaceC

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SpaceC has gone missing. Evidently he lost his phone, possibly his keys too. If you have seen him please contact us at stoneoftheswamp@hotmail.com.
Out of growing worry and concern for his and safety RK and I are building a time machine to go back to the last time and place we definitely know SpaceC, his keys and his phone were all present; the last 4:19 traffic report.
From there we can find his keys and use his past-phone to call his present-phone and thus find the phone, the keys and SpaceC.
Til then
-Apogeematt