Fell Voices- Regnum Saturni (2013)

I’ve had mixed feelings about Fell Voices in the past, honestly, it seems like they are a bit over hyped in the blogosphere, like suddenly they have been dubbed “the cool kids” in an electronic world of patchouli people. This album, just released on March 25, by the Santa Cruz based band playing droney USBM, and yes, it is good, though defiantly hyped.
The first song is masterfully played, but so long and meandering it comes across as a drunk man wandering through the mall parking lot. The second track is more along the lines of what I was expecting, after 17 minutes of the first track it was a present blast back into good black metal. The third track isn’t as strong as the second and is more blackened-ambient/drone, and they have put out other, stronger albums. This album wanders and is longer than what it needed to be, or maybe I’m just not that into them, but this album gets an 85%.

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Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday- Women Drivers and Jute Gyte

Look at the front tires and rims on a woman’s car. Looks like the car’s been driven through a war zone doesn’t it? That’s because the mean-spirited road workers keep putting curbs everywhere. Seriously though, women obviously weren’t intended to drive automobiles since the suspensions are so delicate. I mean breakable.
Most people in this town are horrible drivers, but I’ve seen a soccer mom run over a boy on a bicycle and not even notice, granted, she did notice him in the rear view mirror and turned around. She informed me that it was the boys fault… Really, it was the crossing guard’s fault for enticing the boy across the street.
After I wrote that last part, I was rear-ended by a woman. Twice. Then, she claimed it was not her fault.
I was going to launch into a tirade again women drivers, but now I am thinking that I have offended the menstruation gods and that if I say much more I am going to meet a female cement truck driver next, so I’ll stop while I’m ahead.

Jute Gyte is a solo project out of Missouri, which explained the depressive aspects to the music. He is proficient, his third release of this year alone, this being, “Microtonal experimental black metal played on 24-tone guitars”. Sam explained to me that a microtonal guitar has extra frets, which oddly enough that whole conversation occurred literally a couple of hours after homeboy released this album, showing that great minds think alike and mine isn’t one of them.
This release is makes full use of the extra frets and is defiantly experimental, and long, quite long but not in an overbearing, bad way. This is a quality solo project, akin to Burzum in the sense that it is one person’s musical thoughts and one line is being explored. At a point the drums struggle keep up with tremolo, microtonal guitars with a simple blast beat. The second half of the album I like a bit more, but it is good earning a score of 85%, if a touch jangly.

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Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday and Halcyon Dawn compilation (2011)

At first I was at a loss as to what to write for this week’s Relationship Advice post until standing in line waiting for coffee; personal space. At some point portions of our society feel that they have evolved to the point where it is perfectly acceptable to stand 12 inches away from someone in line or to speak to strangers who are using a public bathroom. The ones who are the worst about this are office workers. It is like the effects of being cramped into a four by four foot space has eroded their sense of space to the extent that even pack animals such as hound dogs feel uncomfortable by their total disregard for personal boundaries.
While construction is the barbarian’s profession overall, there are certain aspects that are highly civilized, such as no conversations shall breech the scared walls of the Port-O-Potty. While this is only enforced by OSHA, everyone else just uses common sense and acknowledges that few people are in the mood for conversation with their fellow man while they are exercising their bowls.
Of all the times I have crapped in an orange grove while at work, not once has anyone tried to talk to me. In fact, co-workers always politely stand at the edge of the grove to throw rocks and oranges. However, as soon as I set foot inside an office building people start talking to me in the fucking bathroom!
Besides for that, Cubicle People will stand uncomfortably close whenever the chance presents itself, almost as if it is some twisted office worker game like Limbo turned ninety degree with bad breath.
For those who need to be told, personal space is measured in feet, not inches. For example, if a person has an unexpectedly wet fart there should be enough clearance so that no one gets “misted”. If someone does get misted, it’s their own fault, personal space.

Today we have a compilation from Halcyon Recordings which is a random Bandcamp find of Blackened-shoegaze which is listenable, however I am finding that Apogeic Swell’s Awash is my favorite of the compilation. Nice, long songs, however nothing incredible or breathtaking or ground breaking, almost standardized DSBM/USBM. While the US has bred some incredible black metal bands, we also have a habit of breeding cover bands that are about as innovative musicians as a radio. While this comp is not that bad, the third track defiantly carries the album; 73%

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Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; Savage Love Answers and Cirrhus- S/T (2011)

For this week’s Relationship Advice I am back to writing better responces for some of Savage Love’s write in questions. Most of the questions I will paraphrase but this first one is too good to paraphrase, check it out;
“I was wondering what you think about the Folsom Street Fair, the annual gay leather/fetish/BDSM street fair in San Francisco. Do you think it is still a socially relevant display? Or do you think that in this time when we are fighting for civil rights and equality that it does more harm than good?”

Answer-
Soooo, you’re gay, and you are trying to criticise the gay guys who want to walk around San Fran in leather in a snotty intellectual manner… which is gay, but just in a different way than the leather… Why do you think that gay events have to live up to your expectations of social relevance?
I bet you are the “bottom” aren’t you?
Look, if there ever was any social relevance to grown men walking around half naked dressed in chains and leather I don’t think it can be lost…

I am a female and my boyfriend recently bought a pair of butt-plugs for himself. I am willing (really meaning I want to) peg his ass with a strap on. But I also have IBS and am scared that I will crap on his finger if he probes my poop-shoot, and that would be embarrassing.
What should I do?

Answer;
A pair of butt-plugs?? Really? Let me guess, you are built like a brick shithouse and have hairy arms, right? Didn’t the fact that he got a pair for HIMSELF strike you as odd? Has he been to prison too? Let me guess, he has boobs tattooed on his back too, right?
Look, I hate to be the one to break the news to you, but if he is getting pairs of butt-plugs then it is a safe bet he is going to leave you for a man. Which I am guessing isn’t going to break your heart if you’re into using a strap-on on men. I am doubtful there will ever be the pitter-patter of little feet around your house.

I am a Strong Powerful Woman who likes sucking cock, and I am going to write an intellectual essay explaining why the world is wrong to judge the woman who plays the one-eyed meat whistle on the first date.
The Happy Whore
(no lie, she signed it that way)

Answer;
Ok…. Let me guess, you don’t have any children, live alone, are around 40 and have a corded vibrator.
Yeah, whatever floats your boat. You sound pretty snotty, about like NASCAR’s duffus woman lawyer friends… God, yeah suck dick, whatever makes you happy, but why are you writing essays about it?

Here is the actual Savage Love article;
Savage Love & the Fair

Cirrhus is a USBM horde out of Oregon playing chaotic punk styled black metal. This is a short two song demo, but good. Good riffs, vocals and background, nothing ground breaking or stunning but (yet again) something new.

(Metallum)

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Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; Explaining History and Grinning Death’s Head- Golden Dawn (2012)

History repeats itself and that is why we study it, right? That’s what always taught anyways, so perhaps we should examine women’s rights in the same light;
As humans, we have been writing shit down for around six thousand years. Now, in October of 2012, I can observe that well over 90% of all the crap that has been written down through out history, has ignored women.
Spring-boarding from the logic that we study history in order to predict the future, I am starting to suspect that most civilizations ignored women because they didn’t know what they are talking about, then or now. Condalisza Rice’s many comments about the attack on the American consulate in Benghazi go far to prove this theory… I can’t claim bragging rights for this though, it has taken me 32 years to figure this one out, so it looks like I am that “special little camper” at this point… On her way out the Angry Ginger accused me of not being trust-worthy, so I asked her for an example.
She sharply replied with a full minute of wide-eyed mouth-breathing, and then left… I can’t say shit though, here comes a point when one sees all the idiots and wonders what he isn’t the king of them if he is surrounded by them…

Grinning Death’s Head is from Georgia and describe themselves as “swamp beasts” (Last FM), so I had to post them. Though from the name and the “Jackboot Black Metal” label and general sound I am guessing there might be NSBM leanings, but defiantly good USBM, from fellow swamp people. Lo-fi, with Òi and RAC leanings mixed with black metal, it is a different sound anyway.
“Swamp people move slow. They aren’t stupid, it’s just that it is so hot no one wants to move quickly”
-M

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Jute Gyte- Senescence (2012)

I’m still feeling under the weather so this’ll be brief.
This album just came out October 1 of this year, Jute Gyte is a solo project out of Missouri (of all places).
It is fast paced USBM that has interesting riffs and is free for download. Also, this just came out so there is not a YouTube post of a song as yet, so I posted an older song instead.

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streaming album offical site

Black Metal and Relationship Advice Wednesday; Agalloch/Nest split (2004)

Sorry to disappoint, but I am still under the weather from surgery and am not feeling up to making absurd statements about women and the eldery, sorry.
As for the black metal aspect of the post, I decided on the Agalloch/Nest split. It is a split that is of such quality that I don’t wish to pollute the listener with my own impressions.
The only hint I can give is mellow and medieval styled.

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Ashdautus- Shadow Plays of Grief (2005)

Ashdautus is black metal from the LBC. (Long Beach California, not Low Budget Casselberry), formerly of the Back Twilight Circle until they disbanded in 2011 (Metallum).
This is an awesome band and underground, and I really mean underground, even in the digital age of global communications, there are just two videos on YouTube of them. Virtually no biography, explaination, just black metal. Pure, fast, intense and mysterious, this is what black metal is about, a band that started and ended quietly their legacy will be of quality USBM.
Yet another of the Black Twilight Circle work, enjoy.
(By the way,RK, I found a copy in .zip so that you can download it too)

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Axeman- Arrive (2009)

Axeman is another band of LA’s Black Twilight Circle. Volahn plays everything and the lyrics are about Mayan mythology, and as a side note he also plays with Bone Awl live, according to Metallum.
Fast and reminiscent of older, early eighties stupid-hair-metal. It is good, but I don’t find myself looking through iTunes for this album, it is more like “What type of metalhead are you if you don’t have Axeman’s Arrive?”
Either way it’s here if you want it.

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