Relationship Advice and Black Metal Wednesday; how marriage is like house-breaking a cat and Emperor- Wrath of the Tyrant (1998)

Recently an older acquaintance’s wife left him, and my cat pissed in the fireplace. Judging by the expression on the cat’s face he believed he was making a profound and meaningful statement, just as what’s-his-name’s wife thought the same thing, I’m sure.
The cat was fed up with the fridge door bumping the chair he was sitting in and the wife was fed up with seeing Goofball all chink-eyed when she got home from work.
It didn’t matter to her that he paid for the massive house and her to go to medical school and still retired early himself, the same as it didn’t bothered the cat that I pay the rent.
The cat doesn’t have a brain that is developed enough to allow him to understand and state what is bothering him, just like women.
The real problem with the cat was that he has to feel in total control of his surrondings and the door bumping his chair eroded his sense of security and stability. So now the cat lives on the screened-in porch and has both a chair and a motorcycle-stand to lay on and is happy as a clam.
Homeboy’s wife is even easier to diagnose; he didn’t make her squirt. They hadn’t played the Moaning Monkey in like five years. It’s not a secret when a husband and wife aren’t having sex; everyone else knows because the woman is going around being a total bitch to everyone she encounters.
A man allowing his wife to walk around acting like that, besides for being incredibly rude to everyone around her, is essentially the same as leaving a flesh-lite at a bar and coming back the next weekend expecting to find it again.
There is even a scientific term for the condition; Female Hysteria. Goofball doesn’t know what it is and that’s why a woman who dresses like an adolescent rapper is sleeping with his wife and not him.
Money can buy a lot of things but it can’t buy a woman’s loyality… nor can it house-break a cat.

Wrath of the Tyrant was originally released in 1994 as a demo and sounded like it was recorded in a bear’s cave amid ancient animal bones and pagan blood-drawings on a tape recorder. It was an awesome demo and a product of of the Norwegian black metal scene at a time of church burnings, murders and satanic suicides.
By 1998 and after a series of notable arrests and trials Black Metal had expanded into a full-blown, world-wide genre and Emperor’s early demo, EP and split were remastered into an album with a cleaner sound more appealing to a global audience.
The remastering of this album marked Black Metal officially hitting the mainstream. It was the start of a new era where the creativity of thousands from across the globe propels the genre forward exploring new sounds and ideas. This is by no means a bad thing, just progress. It is like with the band Death and Death Metal.
Death was formed in 1984 in my home town of Altamonte Springs, Florida. I’ve worked on the same jobs as the drummer and a friend still has fliers from their original shows. Great a band as it was there is no way that a single group of people could have come up with the wide range of sounds that defines Death Metal today (for examples; Techinal Death, Brutal Death, Melodic Death, Progressive Death, Deathcore, death/doom, deathgrind, goregrind, Death’n’Roll and Blackened Death). Black Metal is a similar story only without an original band with a movement instead. Bands such as Emperor, Darkthrone, Burzum, Mayhem and Thorns (just to name a few) converged on similar musical points and started Black Metal as we know it today.
Time progressed and the rest of the world caught on and started listening and playing music like the Norwegian bands, and before long classic albums were being remastered and it went from a scene to adults making their livings…
So enjoy this bit of Black Metal history.

download Wrath of the Tyrant (1998)